TERRORVISION are here to rock Ilkley and they are here to rock
it HARD!
As four cheeky chappies from Bradford leap on to the stage at the King's
Hall it's hard to beleive this is a band who have just been dropped by their
record label.
They practically bounce through the first two numbers - Pretend Best Friend
and Celebrity Hit List - basking in the euphoria of the crowd and barely stopping
to take breath.
And these first two tracks, fit to burst with chunky guitar riffs and catchy
choruses, remind us why we loved Terrorvision in the first place.
They were always a cartoon band with cartoon clothes, cartoon hair and more
importantly, cartoon songs. Nobody was ever going to sit wringing their hands in a
bedsit to a Terrorvision tune or discover subliminal messages if they played the
record backwards.
And tonight although they ahve been away for a while, the band remain as
determined as ever to make sure everybody has a good time.
Madcap singer Tony Wright pauses for a second to ask the crowd if they like
swearing. They do, it seems. So, in true Crackerjack style, he splits the audience in
two and has them chanting obsenities back and forth to one another.
But don't worry - it's not time to lock up your daughters just yet. Terrorvision
are about as frightening as Black Lace and should be taken only slightly more seriously.
Crowd pleaser Alice What's The Matter is further proof of this. It's on the softer
side of heavy metal and shows the band at their best - making lots of noise, jigging around
a great deal and getting the increasingly feverish crowd to sing along. All good stuff.
But this can't last for ever, of course. As the show progresses and the hits start
to run out, the novelty of Terrorvision wears off a little, for me, at least. There's
serveral tracks here which, dispite containing all the usual Terrorvision ingredients, seem
to be missing one essentialelement. What can it be? Ah, that's it - a tune.
Unfortunately, new single D'ya Wanna Go Faster?, while fast-paced and reasonably funky,
definitley falls into this category.
But the audience still seems to be enjoying itself, as does Tony performing stage aerobics
the like of which I have never witnessed. Somewhere, in a parrallel universe perhaps, the fitness
instructors all have pillar box red hair and wear too-tight jeans and leopard-print jumpers.
There is a brief lull in the mayhem when the band take it upon themselves to adhere to
that most regrettable heavy metal rule: the cheesy ballad. The lads slow down the tempo. Tony jokingly
suggests that the crowd hold aloft their lighters, and what follows is four minutes of utter bilge.
Tears for Fears at their very worst is the only way I can adequatley sum up this misguided
attempt at crooning. Stick to the big shouty numbers in future, lads.
Horrible then, but quickly forgotten. It takes the crowd a couple of seconds to recover
from the shock but before long the kids are jumping up and down again like there's no tomorrow.
Soon, the inevitable Tequila moment arrives. "Whether you love it or loath it we are going
to sing the Tequila song," says Tony. From the crowds reaction, I'd say they mostly fall into the former
category.
I was a little worried about how this number would fare without the Mint Royale reworking and
the little girls' chorus. But I needn't have been. The band do an utterly superb, stripped down version,
retaingin all the groviness of the No.2 hit but adding a nice raw touch to it as well.
They finish on a high with Oblivion, arguably their best song, certainly their catchiest,
before bounding off stage. "We are the future of rock'n'roll," screams Tony as a parting shot.
Within minutes they are back on stage for a bracing tow-song encore. Firstly, and with tonge
firmly in cheek, it's a cover of 5ive's Keep on Movin'. And the Perseverance, a killer tune and yet another
killer chorus. And then it's over.
Terrorvision: probably not the future of rock'n'roll but doing a pretty fine job as keeper of the
flame. Monsters of Rock indeed.
Sam Strangeways
Taken from Wharfedale and Airedale Observer